Baby Fat

Hello.

I am fat.

I love food.

I enjoy stuffing my face.

I enjoy lounging around and going into a idle slumber.

The clock is ticking and I'm not getting younger!

Wishing to have the ideal body will only take me so far...

Food is all too good

But it's oh so bad.

Must care more!

Must exercise!

I think the proportions of these sentences above is what my body looks like now. Hah.

I'm not much on fitness, and I would rather die than eat "healthy". I do have to admit I am subsituting soda for water (I was never much for soda anyway...so it's not a monumental loss). I try to eat more veggies and fruits etc. etc. etc. Well... what did I eat today? A fucking delicious 7 layer lasagne. 7...really? Well, I made too much pasta, and even more sauce. The cheese was about to go bad so I used all of it. I feel like I gained 5 pounds in one sitting. I feel disgusting.

I think I look lighter than what I really am? Depending on the light, outfit, and angle of the person looking at me (whether it be from above, below, to the side). I have boobs uh so that makes me stomach less sticky out-y. Thank God. Seriously though...even those have gotten fatter, and while I don't mind too much...I do not wish for them to be ginormous. Anywho, I can TELL that it's harder for me to do shit because I'm a little tubby girl. Hahahaha I'm losing my flexibility (I used to bend over and actually tie my shoes. ;o;) and I feel more tired doing easy things. It really makes me mad at myself. So enough is enough!

I hopped on my bike tonight, and you know what happened? I only freaking cycled around my neighborhood once and I was barely breathing. Hahaha I spent 15 minutes riding around and I was pooped :[ This has got to change. I have a really bad left knee and a fucked up ankle so I'm not much for running. Walking is alright, but I think cycling has a lower impact on these joints while encouraging the heart to work hard! Besides I can't go as fast when I walk! (I biked into some shrubs and tree branches earlier). I was wandering about earlier and I found this really cute and not hard pilates workout. I desire the lean and feminine curves! I want to turn heads when I wear something revealing, or wear something sultry, but not in a bad way! I don't know why I didn't care when I was younger...I think it was my mindset though. My parents kept telling me that skinny wasn't good and that chubby meant healthy (I guess there's some merit to that). I was always told that I still had baby fat and it would go away eventually

...well is it time yet?