Star Parties

I need new friends.

Not necessarily to replace the good ones I have now, but I feel like I've hit stagnant waters. School, food, homework, home. This is the monotanous schedule I have gotten myself into. No one new has been thrust into my life, and I miss it. (back to my ranting nani nani boo boo Stirling shit). I loved having to make new friends while I was abroad.

I feel like summer is too long...even with all this work I have to do! I know it's nice to just relax and take everything in, but I yearn for more "listless nights in a foreign place"...wandering around and legally drinking. No one knows me so I can be whoever I want.

I want new, I want change! Maybe I should look into the mirror and change my fat self first. You're only as confident as you feel. I am confident, but my outside appearance hinders that. I need the walk to match the talk (so damn...that's a big demand...because I talk A LOT.) I think I need a make over, or just a chance to not be here for a while. I don't even know why I hate it here. I'm sure a lot of people would kill to live in Vegas (or America) even, but I yearn for something more, somewhere far...someone new.

I've come to the dismal conclusion with some issues that have been pestering at my soul. They're observations that I made and I came to the inevitable conclusion. An encounter only further solidified the idea that's been richoseting around causing heart to shatter into a billion chunky bits of beating flesh.

I do not make sense...to you, anyway.

I know I can do this.